In My Thoughts Forever

'Girl, What do you want to become when you grow up?'

'No idea, yet. Give me one year.I'll figure it out. '

6 months ago,

I had this conversation with my father.

Perhaps, i should start reminding myself that my deadline is here.

Sooner or later. crap!

Sitting inside the car, watching the raindrops pouring down, i could not stop wondering;

What's my future? 

I started to think a lot ever since i sat for this mid-term examinations. I questioned myself which subject i was interested in. I answered 'biology' and immediately after that, not even a split second, doctor came across my mind. Flabbergasted. I was certainly shocked at my own thought. Never had i ever thought of becoming a doctor. When i was young, teacher used to ask me what was my ambition and my answer would be something like musician or accountant but definitely not a doctor. Nonetheless, i had an ominous  feeling that said i am not kidding this time.

Well, not that i hate becoming a doctor but i am not really suitable for that. I am not giving up nor being a coward here, it's just that i know my ability well enough. I can't handle all the stress and pain. I do not have to carry out the experiment because i believe this is not merely a hypothesis, it is ,too, a conclusion.

One moment say not kidding? another moment say won't become?

Hhmm..I am still hesitating, confusing and dreaming

So yeah, i still need time. 

Don't talk about that.

2 good news;

 Exam ended and Jane is back!

 Peace :)

'Truth only means something when it's hard to admit.'

 From 'The last song'